Bakit ngayon ko lang sinulat ang review na ito?
I want to say that it’s because I didn’t see the movie til today, but I would be lying.
I saw this movie last year with my grandmother and my sisters. I didn’t write a review dahil I didn’t think it’s worth my time. I know I’m at risk of fans hating me and freely expressing that hate through posting comments, pero eh ano naman ngayon, di ba? Nakikibasa lang naman sila. Blog ko to, opinion ko ang may karapatan sa screen time. Beh!
Simulan na natin.
Natawa ka ba nung napanood mo yung trailer? Ako din. Pero the trailer IS the film. Parang extended version lang yung isa’t-kalahating oras na pelikula. It was just a mash up of Vice Ganda’s jokes, Ai-Ai’s Tanging Ina acting, and Kris Aquino trying to be a comedian. Nothing more.
Ang pelikulang ito ay ma-eenjoy lamang ng mga taong alam ang aasahan nila and will be happy with it. Sulit ba? I don’t think so.
Kung gusto kong matawa kay Vice Ganda, mas mag-eenjoy pa ako sa libreng panonood ng GGV sa bahay. Kung gusto kong matuwa kay Kris Aquino, manonood nalang ako ng Kris TV. Parang ang tanging hindi out-of-place sa pelikulang ito ay si Ai Ai delas Alas.
Ok. Before Vice’s little ponies go all rodeo on me, let me finish. Hindi ko sinasabing hindi sila magaling. Magagaling silang lahat. Pero mahusay sila sa kani-kaniyang larangan. I like Kris and Vice dahil pareho silang matatalino. Pareho silang mahusay pagdating sa LIVE conversations. Utak nila mismo ang ginagamit nila sa paghubog ng eksena. That may be the biggest problem pagdating sa pag-arte gamit ang salitang sinulat ng ibang tao. Hindi sila ganun ka-effective.
Hindi rin nakatulong na ang kwento nito ay walang kabuluhan.
Ang Kuwento
Kabit ng tatay ni Bernadette/Detty (Ai-Ai) ang ina ni Bernardo/Totoy/Bernice (Vice). Lumaki ang dalawa sa parehong bahay. Amo ang ina ni Detty habang katulong ang ina ni Bernice. Nang gabing malaman ng ina ni Detty ang totoo, nahulog sa hangdan ang ina ni Bernice at pinalayas sila sa mansion.
Fast forward to the present at successful na si Bernice bilang kinatatakutang may-ari ng Ponytail, isang fashion house. Kakumpetensiya niya ang kumpaniya ni Roselle (Kris).
Nag-apply bilang assistant ni Bernice si Detty. Kinuha ito ni Bernice bilang pagkakataong paghigantihan ang kaniyang kapatid. Kaya pinagmalupitan niya ito. Detty leaves Ponytail to work for Roselle. Medyo ok pa ang takbo ng kuwento up to this point. After this, wala na.
Ganito nalang (para walang spoilers). May eentrang gwapong lalaki, may fashion show, kidnapping at murder attempt, at (super pilit) fantastic happy ending. Paano nangyari yun? Tinatamad na akong iexplain pa. Wala rin naman sense otherwise.
Ang Pangit
Where do I begin? Hmm… TIngnan nga natin kung hanggang saan aabot ang listahang ito.
1. Ktis Aquino trying hard to be funny in the old school slapstick-y Pinoy way. I don’t blame this entirely on her. The script’s just not funny enough. Parang the screenwriter failed to recognize that Kris Aquino has a limited arsenal when it comes to acting. Bakit? E kasi, she’s an OUTSTANDING TV host. Hindi siya built for comedy.
Kung tipong distinguished woman nalang siya na dry wit ang pambato, mas ok pa sana. Di na niya kailangan magsuot ng mga outfit that made her look more like a mascot comlpete with two-inch painted eyelashes. Kailangan pa bang magmukha siyang joke? She’s the President’s sister! Come on! She has to make jokes, not look like one!
2. The overdone James Yap pun. Yap, yap, yap! We got it! You got DJ Durano to play a character named James. Have him say, “Yup” once and get over it. Kailangan ba paulit-ulit?! Di na talaga nakakatawa. Si Kris nga daw naka-move on na e. Bakit yung nagsulat di naka-move on?
3. Vice Ganda’s outfits. Medyo related to sa number 1 e. Sino ba ang costume designer nito? Bakit ni-literal naman yung costume? I think hindi ito naging pabor sa LGBT community that Vice proudly represents. Napaka-stereotypical “bading” naman nung mga outfit. Who wants to see Vice wear Lady G-level swimsuits on the big screen? I don’t.
Di ito nakatulong sa pelikula. Nakaka-distract lang. Di kailangang magsuot ng nakakatawang damit ni Vice to be funny.
4. The absolute lack of a sensible storyline. Bakit naman yung Tanging Ina nakakatawa AT may kwento? Sayang o. It’s lie using a sniper gun to kill a fly. Ganda nga ng equipment mo, wala namang matinong tinamaan.
5. Daniel Padilla and Kathryn Bernardo. Bakit nasa listahan sila? E kasi obvious naman na sinali lang sila sa pelikula para pandagdag sa manonood e. Tingnan ninyo yung summary, ni wala sila. Bakit? E di naman kasi sila mahalaga sa kwento. Nakaagaw lang sila sa dami ng eksena na sana ginugol nalang sa paglalahad ng kwento.
Marami pang iba, pero titipirin ko na ang enerhiya ko sa iba pang pelikulang nag-aabang ng opinion ko. Ito nalang ang huli…
THE FACT THAT THIS EARNED MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF PESOS!
I blame everyone for this. This sends the message to production companies na ito ang antas ng pang-unawa ng mga Pinoy. Hanggang ganito nalang ba tayo?
Ang daming mas magaganda at di hamak na mas nakakatawang pelikulang Pinoy kesa dito. Yung mukha namang pinagtuonan ng pansin. Yung hindi naman natin ikakahiya pagdating ng panahon. Biruin mo, ang highest grossing films internationally ay nasa level ng Harry Potter, Avatar, at Titanic, tapos tayo, Sisterakas? Really?!
Ay! Kung sabagay, bumenta rin nga pala yung Twilight series. My point’s rendered moot. Hehehe…
Pero kahit pa! Pinoys, wag naman tayong gumaya sa kanila.
Ang Paghuhusga
Showing pa ito sa sinehan sa panahong sinusulat ko ito. Do I recommend this film? No. Do I think it’s worth my money? No. It was good for a few “ehehe” moments. Pero di yung talagang matinding tawa.
I’m not against Pinoy comedy films. Sana nga lang, totoo na ang layunin nito ay pasayahin ang manonood at hindi lang ang mga taong kikita ng malaki.
Nung iwan namin ang sinehan, kinailangan naming yumuko the entire time dahil punong puno ng tao ang lugar. May mga taong nakaupo sa aisle at kahit saan na may mauupuan sila. Sabay crack ng joke ni Vice and sabay-sabay na nagtawanan ang lahat. Sana rin, magawa ng mga Pinoy na sama-sama ring panoorin ang mga pelikulang gaya ng I Do Bidoo Bidoo.
Piling Pelikula 
sa totoo lang, s vice ganda at ai ai lang naman ang nakakatawa, si Kris? ewan ko
maii ganun?? sakiiit muh nmanq maqsalita…
Nalulungkot ako kung bakit eto na ngayon ang Highest Grossing Filipino Film of all time biro mo 390.7 million pesos, ganito na ba kababa ang level ng mga pinoys sa pag pili ng movie, eh sa kuwento palang nang kapatid ko after mapanood yung movie dahil may passes kami ng lahat ng MMFF last year eh hindi na ako nag aksayang panoorin pa eto, comments lng po eto huwag sanang magalit ang iba. sabagay pera nila ang ginamit, pero ang gusto ko lng i point eh pag may magandang film ayaw tangkilikin ng pinoy eh ang magyayari tuloy nyan, kaming mahihilig sa mga quality films eh wala ng tsansang makapanood, eh kasi wala ng gagawa ,mag po produce, kc hindi naman kikita, mag bibigay ako ng example I DO BIDOO BIDOO one of the best films of 2012 magkano lng ang kinita? google na lng po type highest grossing film in the Philippines. OPINION LANG PO….tangkilikin natin ang mga de kalidad na pelikula, kuwento, may kapupulutan ng aral hindi yung sikat lng ang Bida….PEACE
Strong words, Albert. Pero I agree. Sayang talaga. Kung malalaman ng ibang bansa na ito ang pinakamalaking pelikula para sa mga Pinoy at pinanood nila ito, ano kaya ang mababasa nila tungkol sa mga Noypi?
Pero di na bale. Ibaon nalang natin sa limot ito at umasang may magagandang maipapalabas ngayong 2013.
Filipinos as we are, are craving for happy moments where in: gugulong tayo sa saya at sasakit ang tiyan sa kakatawa: And I think this movie WAS it. It’s not about the quality that this film earned millions, it’s about the temporary laughter. I agree this wasn’t worthy as the top grossing film. But who would appreciate high class films, if no one would? So I guess it’s better to have these kinds of movies in a while, but not for too long that we forget to think rightfully. I mean, I admire some American movies that are of quality, yet provides great humor and laughter. One of my favorite Philippine writer and director is Chris Martinez, who directed Kimmy Dora 1, Ang Babae sa Septic Tank and of course I Do Bidoo Bidoo.
I mean, HE is adorable with his script writing, very international skills,I just admire his movie I Do Bidoo Bidoo, t’was very worthy for release, I love the script, but sadly, their budget didn’t take over.
I have lots of hope for Philippine Cinema, that one day it may rise above all countries and be number 1. And I guess we have a hell lot of time for that.
I agree with everything you said. Direk Chris Martinez is one of my heroes. Having him write me back after I wrote my I Do Bidoo Bidoo review still is one of the best moments of my life.
I still believe in the potential of Philippine cinema, but I don’t think this is a “film industry” problem. There are just too few educated and cultured Filipinos as compared with the droves of TV-fed minds here.
We should make the arts (the good kind) more accessible and appealing to the masses.
Right now, I’m working on recommending great movies to everyone who asks for it and inviting the kids in my community to watch movies at my place. Hopefully, even if it’s just a tiny drop in the endless sea, this can make even a wee bit difference.
Pingback: Ang Turkey Man Ay Pabo Rin: Movie Review | Piling Pelikula